If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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