it's too hot outside to masturbate.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
