Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
The power of my boobs compel you
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