come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
