I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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