You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
