I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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