none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
