but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
