Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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