i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
