Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
