he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
