jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
