she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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