What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
