is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
only if we run a train.
done.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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