The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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