Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
