Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
