she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
