Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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