what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize