the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I need a beard to bite.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
