I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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