We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
