pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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