I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize