Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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