Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
