I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize