Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
