Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
