He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
