i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
