the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
