butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
