I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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