she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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