Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
