Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
