I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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