the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
