I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
