Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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