I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
