RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
