ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
