Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
