i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize