alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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