Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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