I think I just saw someone hide a body.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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