It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
