It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
