In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
