hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
