Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
