Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
