ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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