My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
