i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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