All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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