Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
