she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Randomize
