As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I love having hate sex.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize