Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I wish I only lived at night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
